Photo by Muffy Aldrich
The Modern Guide to The Thing Before Preppy

Friday, March 3, 2023

Summer Cocktail Party Attire

Photos by Salt Water New England

Summer cocktail party season is almost upon us.  For men and women, what do you wear, and were do you get it?  A flurry of reader questions.


Reader Question: 

I am a mid 30s woman and will be going to several outdoor events (graduations, openings) this May.  There will be overlap in who attends.  I don't want to wear the same thing to each, but I also don't want to buy entirely new outfits.  Any suggestions?

Reader Question: 

What shoes do I wear when I have to be dressed up (navy blazer and tie) but outside walking over a lot of grass, rocks,  and maybe even a bit of mud at an event?  I guess the real question is what can I get away with?  How informal (read that comfortable) can I be?  

Reader Question:

Where is the best place to buy bright summer ties and khakis appropriate for weddings and graduations?

Reader Question:

Hi Muffy!

I have a question for the community.   I need to update my cocktail dresses and skirts, but I am not sure where to start.  Lilly was the automatic go-to, but taking a look on their site, they are now what they used to be.  I would be grateful for any and all suggestions.  Thank you!









    May, Mid 80s - Boston in the Evening Still Invites a LBD




31 comments:

  1. As one who always preferred to err on the side of propriety over comfort, I’m shocked I’m saying comfort is now acceptable! Within reason, of course. A gentleman in a well-tailored crisp cotton shirt (well pressed), sleeves rolled with a pair of nicely fitting khakis is acceptable for a late afternoon/early evening event that is held on The Green or a lovely garden setting, tie optional. For the feminine group, I favor vintage Lilly or an exquisite pair of slacks in a dressy fabric worn with a beautiful simply tailored blouse (I find t-shirts with dressy slacks a bit too comfortable) and appropriate jewelry. The fun “pop” can be a great pair of shoes (sandals and flats are best in this setting) with a leather flower or beautiful details and a fun clutch..
    The later the hour, however, the more dressed up I think one should be. A tie and jacket for the gentlemen and a longer skirt or dress for the ladies, albeit not as comfortable, is more appropriate. I may be a relic, but I was reared believing propriety trumps comfort, and I’d never be comfortable unless I were appropriately dressed.

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  2. @Shoes with navy blazer and tie -- a decent pair of loafers won't mind a bit of dirt or mud. Builds character.

    @Bright summer ties and khakis -- try J. Press and O'Connell's (the answer to pretty much any question having to do with menswear). Andover Shop and Ben Silver have nice ties as well.

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    1. I recommend Crockett & Jones' Boston loafers with rubber soles.

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    2. I find white warp repps very summery. I pretty much wear only repp stripes with a navy blazer. A nice, and lower cost, option, especially for bowties, is High Cotton.

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    3. I would echo VV above. In the U.K. we refer to these as club (or regimental) ties

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    4. Depending on the event (and the weather) a striped boating blazer can work well with light coloured chinos. (But probably not at a very formal event). I have one in my old school colours.

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    5. Tjmataa, on this side of the pond, many of us try to avoid the ties of true regiments, clubs, and schools with which we have no affiliation. It is a shame, because some of the regiments have spectacularly good patterns. Fortunately for summer cocktail parties, I have navy with orange and red with white, reflecting two alma maters. They both look good with blazers and with seersucker. I am betting your boating blazer will be a hit.

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    6. Vecchio Vespa, yes I agree wholeheartedly one shouldn't wear ties belonging to clubs and regiments with which there is no affiliation and yes I do envy many of them. The terms are used over here as a generalisation to denote a striped tie of (usually) two colours. My own favourite is dark blue and light blue (my old school tie). I will of course now avoid navy with orange (which sounds rather nice) and red with white!

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    7. VV, I was under the impression you were based in the US. I can see taking that attitude if you were in the UK. Assuming you live in the US, why would you be squeamish about wearing the colors of the Marylebone Cricket Club?

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    9. I would certainly become squeamish quickly if someone said, "Oh, thank God. Another member of my cricket club!" Enough of my friends are either Brits or men schooled there that I just keep to my own colors. As regards school colors, I would think certain colors would make one look like a poseur. Thankfully the colors of all of my affiliations are nice looking as ties.

      Speaking of this I encountered a neighbor in a Tee shirt in Yale colors with Yale lettering spelling Y'all. I love it. My brother and sister in law went to that school in New Haven and love to remind others, but neither wears much other than black.

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    10. Vecchio Vespa, I couldn't agree more

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    11. Hold on a sec. You are telling me that in Austin, Texas it would be improper to wear a gold and orange striped tie for fear of offending a member of the Marylebone Cricket Club?! The dark red and navy bar striped tie is probably the most common necktie in the preppy wardrobe – but I can’t wear it here in suburban Philadelphia in case I run across a retired colonel in the Brigade of Guards? Come on now.

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  3. My daughter-in-law and the adult children of my friends swear by services like Rent the Runway. New-to-you outfits without the commitment.

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  4. For the first question - I would invest in a two great quality, versatile dresses (or wear dresses you already have) and mix up your shoes/bag/jewelry/wrap. Honestly, no one will notice that the dress is the same if you look slightly different and each event. Quality is better than quantity!

    For the final question - if you like vintage Lilly, try searching for things like "white label" Lilly on eBay or poshmark. There are still some of the brand's more classic pieces out there. Otherwise, I recommend Molly Moorkamp for chic, classic cocktail attire.

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    1. I own 5 size 6-8 Lillys like the style shown on Muffy on the stairs, all white label bought in the late 70s, plus a 6th skirt that’s Lilly-like, but not Lilly. Perhaps Muffy can arrange a sale if they’re your size.

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  5. Men's shoes....questionable weather...my choice Bean's Gum Shoes or H.S. Gallatin Blucher Baby Buffalo Pebble Grain with Vibram Running Board Sole. Leather is as smooth as a baby's bottom & wears like iron. Of course, brogues would work.

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    1. Leather wears like iron maybe on beach sand but not on tbe street.

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  6. White bucks, full stop. Smear on that grass. Otherwise Alden plain toe suede blucher's. And leave the shorts at the beach.

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  7. The Anchorage (Dyer Boat Co.) shamelessly named that model of motor tender on the top deck of the yacht their "Glamour Girl". Not many were built. The DuPont boys of Oyster Harbors on Cape Cod had one called SCUP. They kept it at their waterfront estate which eventually sold to the Mellons and now Bill Koch.

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    1. Our friends had a Glamour Girl - nothing better for cocktail harbor cruises. There are still some kicking around the north shore and Cape.

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  8. I agree with Rux about the shorts. It's a nasty look on a man.

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    1. You are both right about the shorts. They look best on males still of elementary school age. I’ve noticed they also don’t differ too much in price from regular khakis for example. Why pay full freight for half a pair of pants?

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  9. Coat and tie are for court, weddings, and funerals. For everywhere else, ditch the ties. Put a blazer over a polo shirt or any other open-collared shirt, but forget the tie, and even the blazer unless the weather is cool. Everyone spends all week going to work in "busniess casual," so why put on a tie on Saturday?

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    1. Why ? Because I do not want to sink to where most have gone. To each his own.

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  10. The basics, if done well!

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  11. If we are talking casual events then I suggest for outdoor events, LL Bean duck shoes for men. Indoor events call for a solid polished pair of penny loafers.

    Depending on heat--linen jacket and pants and either a linen or cotton OCBD. Otherwise a blue blazer and khakis.

    Women... I got nothing.

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  12. i have two linen pants by bonobos that are fitted well : heathered blue between light and dark and the other colored one is sand. no jacket. can i wear either to a cocktail party (pre-wedding) in the evening in marrakesh where it will be about 90 degrees? i found photos of the pants here : https://cdna.lystit.com/photos/bonobos/a3decd08/bonobos-designer-Blue-Texture-Italian-Stretch-Linen-Suit-Jacket.jpeg and here : https://i.pinimg.com/736x/77/e9/52/77e95228d7fd561f5f65b1dfacc175f2.jpg

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