Me, wearing my mother's Burberry (then Burberrys) trench coat, when I was about twenty. Photo by my father. |
I hate the notion of excessive storage. My attic and basement are nearly empty, and drawers are kept to a minimum. The youthful urge to fill has abated, and I find wide, empty surfaces the greatest luxury. Unfilled shelves represent opportunity, not signs of some intellectual wanness. I am always culling.
But sentimental items can make me tap the brakes on what is otherwise a smooth process and punt the decision.
My parents bought high quality clothing and so decisions around those items often go unresolved. I still have my mother's Burberry trench, in good condition, but a bit tight around the shoulders. So there it hangs, punted again.
My questions for the community are:
What items do you keep for sentimental reasons?
When such items are authentic, do you risk getting them tailored?
How do you dispose of "classic" items when/if it is time?
Purchased in NYC |
My Father's Coat, Purchased in New Haven |
My Mother's Brooks Brothers Chesterfield Quickly Became Mine, Shown Here in DC... |
...en route to VA for a Grandfather's Military Funeral at Arlington National Cemetery, late 1980s. |
I have the exact same coat of my mother's. Who was not my size - lol. They were ubiquitous in the town of my youth. My mother went home with the wrong one from the hairdresser once. She only knew it wasn't hers, since there were cigarettes in the pocket and she had quit smoking by then.
ReplyDeleteThat's funny. Same thing happened to my father when someone took his chesterfield from the coat rack at a funeral. Although he never did get it back.
DeleteThe very first item of clothing I bought after grad school was a Burberrys trench coat. I believe I got it at B. Altman. They sewed my initials into the label.
Same here, I bought my first (and last) Burberry's trench coat with one of my first paychecks in 1996, and around 2008 I got a packable Aquascutum. I am absolutely horrified at how much Burberry's trenches cost now.
DeleteAs for Muffy, she should see if it will fit any of her nieces or cousins, and if not pass it on to someone else who would appreciate it. One way to let go is to take photos (I wouldn't go as far as the Marie Kondo farewell thanks ceremony).
Oh, and the briefcase totally makes the outfit...
I have my Dad's Aquascutum for my husband. He does wear it from time to time. B. Altman - worked there in high school/college, before it all went sideways. Wonderful place to work.
DeleteI too have my Burberry trench coat purchased in the 80's. It has it place in the closet as its not being used too much these days as I usual drive places and prefer shorter coats for the car. I doubt that I will ever get rid of it as it goes so well with the tweed walking hat when I need that sort of thing walking in the rain and snow. Kept me warm and dry in those New Haven to New York commuting days.
DeleteEven though I am a fairly sentimental person, my mementoes of my forbears are few. Some are still used like my grandfather's black tie, my father's tartan Christmas bowtie, my mother's silver thimble, and the ten inch carbon Sabatier chef's knife from my parents' kitchen. Some are very old books that I would dispose of to someone who truly wanted to read them or was a serious collector. Old art, mostly Japanese and Chinese and a bit of pre-Columbian South American, remain on the walls and shelves, and the blue and white Canton purchased after the great San Francisco earthquake is still in use, along with great grandmother's and great great grandmother's silver. I, too, treasure empty drawers and sparse shelves. Closets are not crowded. It seems wrong to me to hang on to unused items others might need.
ReplyDeleteVery good question. There are two of my dad’s herringbone sport jackets in my closet. One is black and brown, the other the classic gray and black. I wear them whenever I (tongue in cheek) want to make a good impression. Particularly I like to travel with one of them, especially to Paris. They were bought on York Street in the ‘80’s or 90’s. J Press. He wore them well into his 80’s. I still have a way to go. But I’ll never give them up. If I have a grandson, he will inherit them. Or, my nephews will have to fight over them. For sentimental reasons I keep his camel hair overcoat from Arthur M Rosenberg, also York Street. I wear it on Christmas Day. I don’t think I’d let a tailor touch any of these items. Again, my perhaps grandson will inherit my Barries. If my perhaps granddaughter refuses to wear them, my nephews will fight over them, also. Already, among the nephews, claims have been staked in the license plate (or “tags” as they say down South) that has been in the family for almost 90 years.
ReplyDeleteI have my mother’s Pendleton Forty-Niner jacket from the ‘fifties and a Harris Tweed sport jacket of my dad’s . That, their wedding rings and my dad’s WWII army watch (that still keeps time in stellar fashion) is pretty much it.
ReplyDeleteOoooo please tell me the watch is a Hamilton! Do love.
DeleteI’d love to say it was (my HS graduation present was a Hamilton and it’s a great little watch), but it’s a Hyde Park - would have run Dad about $25 back in 1944, plus the engraving on the back. Still a great watch, though.
DeleteI put my grandmother's wide gold wedding band, engraved inside "F.R. to A.L. 7-1-15," on a gold chain and I like to wear it as often as I can.
ReplyDeleteWhen my husband and I married 30 years ago, we had my grandmother's white gold band made into two bands for us. Her band was so large I could not bend my finger when I slipped it on.
DeleteBeing broke grad students, my future husband and I could afford to buy only one ring. My mother, who had gotten an upgrade, pulled her wide, plain band that my dad had given her with their initials and the date out of a ziplock bag and said “Use this.” It fit perfectly. Thirty-three years this month later, I’m still wearing the ring and I love it.
DeleteThis is a very prescient post. For me, half the problem in not throwing out excellent clothes is that, in so many cases, they're simply not being made anymore. My higher self tells me to stop thinking of them as a form of art and to give them to the needy who could use them. My less exalted self feels I'd be letting something precious slip through my fingers, even though the preciousness is largely in my own mind,
ReplyDeleteDon’t feel guilty – keep your stuff. I think it’s your higher self that cherishes the artisanship behind good clothing, or indeed any material object, and the warm associations that a particular piece may have for you. What is “less exalted” is the utilitarian view that those considerations don’t count because they can’t be measured, and you therefore must give everything away to the needy. Yeats: “A leveling, rancorous, rational sort of mind / That never looked out of the eye of a saint / Or out of drunkard's eye.”
DeleteThank you, Sartresky. I needed to read that today.
DeleteIf tailoring an authentic item of clothing means that you will wear it, I would most certainly say go ahead. It really doesn't stop it being authentic unless you materially change the design of it.
ReplyDeleteI love the photo of the burberry raincoat and the lovely lady in the photo. Such a classic and classy look. Burberry makes the best cut and stylish raincoat. Outrageously expensive today.
ReplyDeleteWe have downsized into a house our twenty something son has bought with our help. Soon we will build a guest house out back for us. Deciding what to keep and what to get rid of has been tiring. We've outfitted the newly married daughter with plenty of antiques, china and such. We have this new house furnished and there is enough left over for us. The clothing is yet to be sorted as I am loath to get rid of it and, unlike the furnishings, the children are not really interested. No hurry.
ReplyDeleteGenerations of quality...Yankee thrift at its best.
I am a dedicated culler and detest clutter. I adore Muffy’s description of her attic and basement. I am in that time of life with two middle schoolers, however, and we are maximizing all our space right now, as any family would do. My father was a truck driver, but in his single life he was quite social and had the clothing to go with it. He bought well and took exceptional care of his items, for instance, untying the knot on a neck tie rather than just pulling the small end through the knot. He polished and shined his dress shoes often. And his truck driving uniforms were kept well also. When he died he left several suits, which were worn only on Sundays to church. He left two pair of Florsheim Imperial long wings, and an almost new pair of Bean boots. And most notably, he left a brown and black houndstooth sports jacket, which was his favorite. He bought it in the early 1960s or late 1950s at Dan B. Waugh’s men’s clothier in Galax, Virginia. Upon his death t looked in mint condition. I was not his size, he a 40 R and I a 44 L, and I wanted to make some cash for my mother so I sold a lot of his items on ebay, and gave the others to thrift. But I wish every day that I had kept his houndstooth sports coat. A colleague wears his grandfathers tweed top coat and it occurred to me that my son, who will likely be about my dad’s size, could probably wear that houndstooth one day. -JDV
ReplyDeleteMy father was from Carroll County, just north of Galax, and was also a truck driver, including many years as a rural mail contractor. Although he did not by expensive clothing, he was a careful dresser, always wore a hat, and wore a suit all day on Sunday.
DeleteMy dad drove for Blue Ridge, based in Galax and Roanoke. We lived in Fries, other side of Galax. My maternal ancestors are buried in Hillsville. JDV
DeleteI purchased my Burberry trench coat at their main store in London in 1979. While living in Prague in 2009, I mistakenly put my coat on a rack too near a light fixture. The coat was burned in one of its collars and in the other shoulder area. I was so upset, but, did decide to contact the company to see if they would do repairs. They asked me to send pictures, which I did, & a month later they asked me to send them the coat so they could examine it in detail. Six weeks later, I received a package from DHL from Burberry & within it was a totally "new" & repaired coat. I replied back to them to ask them about the costs & they told me as a dedicated customer, it was their pleasure to return my coat back to its original shape. Quite a company!!
ReplyDeleteMy wife has and still wears just about every sweater and pair of shoes she's had since her teens, dozens of each. For someone 70 years old she's in fabulous shape. But I knew she would be when I first met her mother almost fifty years ago. I could see the future, grabbed the girl and will never let her go.
ReplyDeleteI have my dad's US Army Air Corps flight school graduation books and his Rolex. From my mom's side, I have the family bible and the branding irons from their ranch.
ReplyDeleteYou're a knock out Muffy ! :-)
ReplyDeleteAll of those are treasures, especially in a world of fast fashion and lowered standards, even from former reputable labels. My late mother had some wonderful wool skirt suits, the kind that were fully lined with deep hems. She purchased them in Germany and what I would give to have them in my closet now. I'm a size or two smaller than she was then, so a good tailor could have adjusted them for me. Having said that, we have moved so often over the last twenty years, minimalism has become second habit. That and how little storage space the average British home has. Its harder for my husband, who is a born hoarder.
ReplyDeleteBeing someone who has always bought good quality clothes and shoes (built to last) I have great difficulty in letting go of things. On the rare occassions when I decide to "clear some space" and take some items to the charity shop, I nearly always regret it soon after! My real problem is that I already have too many clothes, but still can't resist buying more when I see something I really like.
ReplyDeleteNot clothes but a great aunt, crippled by polio, braided 'salvaged rag' rugs that we still have all around the summer house. My m-i-l told stories of how she could tell which rug contained cloth from her older brothers' work shirts and father's worn out church-going suits, Knights of Columbus and postmaster uniforms. Our children and grandchildren know the stories now and I've heard them tell the tales to friends. It's examples of such continuity that make for a happy family with respect and admiration for those who came before.
ReplyDeleteMuffy has a distinct Clotilde thing going on in the younger raincoat picture.
ReplyDeleteWill
I have my uncle’s plaid golf bag with leather trim that has been sitting in the garage, attic or basement for more than 40 years . My wife once brought it to the dump when she was cleaning out the basement . After she told me I drove to the dump and paid one of the workers there $20 to get it back.
ReplyDeleteJust tonight I was complimenting my wife in her pale yellow cable knit sweater. "It was my mother's, she said...."
ReplyDeleteI think about this all the time (as we've talked about!) And I have the same coats from my mother. It's so special to have them and I'm glad that I wear them!
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of things inherited and valued, I've got my grandfather's and father's golf clubs from the thirties through fifties. Some have hickory shafts and the putters with those have the best 'feel'. My grandfather moved to the barrier island ('Riomar') off Vero Beach in the twenties and initiated the building of its first golf course and the Vero Beach airport which brought Eastern Airlines into play. That and other connections drew the Brooklyn Dodgers to establish their spring training camp there. The first time I ever flew on a plane was on Eastern to Vero ... when men wore suits and women dressed elegantly for travel: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vero_Beach_Regional_Airport
ReplyDeleteIf it fits, I will wear it. I will hang on to a *few* sentimental items but, as I age, I will give it to a local resale/thrift shop( I will not support The Salvation Army or Goodwill industries). It's very hard parting with a beautiful item of clothing you know your loved one spent a fortune on but, in my opinion, it's best it goes to someone who can enjoy it's beauty and quality.
ReplyDeleteI do have a combination of sport coat, shirt and tie which I wore to my Grandma's last birthday before she passed away. Shirt and coat no longer fit me, but I could never throw these away. The tie is still in use of course
ReplyDeleteMuffy, re: the top photo, my late mother and maternal grandmother dressed similarly for work and daytime dates/gatherings/ECW meetings into the 1990s. A wonderful look, and I wish we saw more of it in 2023. Evenings out (or entertaining at home, and it was dark cocktail attire (with heels) with a few pieces of jewelry. Again, I wish we saw more of that in 2023.
ReplyDeleteKind Regards,
Heinz-Ulrich
Clothing-wise, I have a hoard of coats that belonged to my grandmother, and two from my mother. These are high quality wool, camel hair, and cashmere coats from the early 60's, from a now-closed, very tony clothing store in my hometown. Two of them are the vintage-termed "spring coats" that you never see anymore. I always get compliments when I wear them! --Holly in PA
ReplyDeleteI have, literally, an entire shelf full of various editions and sizes of the Book of Common Prayer, having belonged to various members of both my father's and mother's families over multiple generations. I've never counted, but I'm sure there are at least twenty of them. Many of them were gifts from one family member to another and have inscriptions on the flyleaf indicating giver, recipient, occasion,and date.
ReplyDeleteMy family leaned very heavily toward the very Catholic end of the Episcopal spectrum (what I grew up calling "High Church," but in more recent decades has become more commonly known as "Anglo-Catholic"). Among other things, this resulted in a respect, if not veneration, for religious "stuff," including prayer books. It would seem like a full-blown sacrilege to get rid of any of them, ever. The very idea horrifies me. So there they sit.