A reader pointed out this article from 2013. As always, time makes the insightful and less-insightful points more obvious. Female and male takes may differ.
- The Unofficial Goldman Sachs Guide To Being A Man (https://www.businessinsider.com/the-gselevator-guide-to-being-a-man-2013-9)
Including:
- Stop talking about where you went to college.
- You will regret your tattoos.
- Feigning unpretentiousness is worse than being pretentious. Cut it out with the vintage Polo and that ’83 Wagoneer in Nantucket.
- Place-dropping is worse than name-dropping.
- Don’t split a check.
- #StopItWithTheHastags
I remember when this was first published. A simpler time. Some good advice, yes, but quite a bit that has aged poorly and is still being passed off as wisdom among my younger colleagues.
ReplyDeletePersonal favorite, pre-social media nostalgia category: "No-one cares if you are offended, so stop it."
Personal favorite, personal rule: "Read more." The author might have stopped there and been just fine.
If I cannot break out the "Good Old Song" at the drop of a hat or talk about my most recent jaunt to Rockbridge County ... that pretty much reduces my social congress to conversing about the deplorable state of affairs in the US and in the world at large. Collars up !!!
ReplyDeleteLet's try this: Try to avoid reading anything by someone who hyphenates "no one." Don't recommend doing fifty dips unless you've actually tried it. I'm guessing the author hasn't. And try to learn something about exercise so you'll know that push-ups and dips pretty much work the same muscles. You should do one or the other and add pull-ups. Don't take sartorial advice from someone who doesn't know anything about the vast area lying between suits and jeans. And bear in mind that many women of quality will think that prominent logos on your sunglasses, which help gauge their price, are show-offish and also proclaim you to be the sort of man who spends way too much on sunglasses.
ReplyDeleteA fun list with some sage advice, and a few misses. For example: “Eating out alone can be magnificent. Find a place where you can sit at the bar.” No, not my experience - I always felt like an outsider (you know, someone just out on parole with no friends). Also, the last thing the world needs now is people taking more photos.
ReplyDeleteAnd did people drink that much way back to 2011? Anyway, I guess you can say at least they weren’t smoking.
...particularly liked: Learn how to fly fish; There's always another level. Just be content knowing that you are still better off than most who have ever lived; Ask for a salad instead of fries; Buy a tuxedo before you are thirty. Stay that size; Measure yourself only against your previous self; Your clothes do not match. They go together; Staying angry is a waste of energy; Always bring a bottle of something to the party; If you are wittier than you are handsome, avoid loud clubs; Feigning unpretentiousness is worse than being pretentious. Cut it out with the vintage Polo and '83 Wagoneer in Nantucket; No one cares if you are offended, so stop it; You will regret your tattoos; If riding the bus doesn't incentivize you to improve your station in life, nothing will; When the bartender asks, you should already know what you want to drink; When a bartender buys you a round, tip double; Piercings are liabilities in fights; Your ties should be rolled and placed in a sectioned tie drawer; Yes, of course you have to buy her dinner; Date women outside your social set. You'll be surprised; The New Yorker is not high-brow. Neither is the Economist; If you believe in evolution (and even if you don't) you should know something about how it works; Never take an ex back. She tried to do better and is settling with you; Eating out alone can be magnificent. Find a place where you can sit at the bar; Read more. It allows you to borrow someone else's brain...; Ignore the boos. they usually come from the cheap seats (unless the whole place is booing - then it's a different issue altogether...); Don't ever say, "it is what it is" (instead, say, "Well, there you have it."); and, Remember, "rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men."
ReplyDeleteB.
…and, instead of either of the two above-noted options say: How can I help?
DeleteB.
It took Glenn O’Brien a whole book to say about half of that.
ReplyDeleteAnd I should add, what a boring boring world it would be if we all followed the same guidelines.
ReplyDeleteOne more: Never assume you are qualified to tell other men how to live their lives.
ReplyDeleteI suppose I am the only accolyte of Muffatola who noticed the complete absence of instruction within this turgid 'advice' missive on evidently worthless subjects, such as being a spouse, parent and congregant. In the rarified world of the Upper East Side, that golden stretch filled with sharp-elbowed, whisper-thin wives of the GS Masters of the Universe and their dead-eyed offspring, you can witness the result of these omissions.
ReplyDeleteDear Anon 7:24, where are you my long-lost son? I couldn't have composed your post any better than you have! Almost as though I wrote it in a pique of disgust with the GS men who have crossed my path. What the missive doesn't state is that being a GS man means that your cocktail chatter must contain something so profoundly unique, unatainable and devoid of meaning that it stuns your colleages and their bored wives. Examples witnessed by me along the way: customed-designed tractor-trailer with room to sleep four in the cab and Louis V searts; not one, but three, J-44s all of which have names based on trading, such as Short-Sail (get it, Short Sale); and, the piece de resistance, one's own Island off the coast of Maine. All of this is the ultimate expression of one-upsmanship or better said, keeping up with the MBAs on the UES. And all of these men were so superior, so utterly vapid that one couldn't distane themselves fast enough.
ReplyDelete"Don’t use the word 'closure' or ever expect it in real life. There may still be a mortally wounded Russian mobster roaming the woods of south Jersey, but we’ll never know."
ReplyDeleteThis is an excellent reference.
Unfortunately, I know too many investment banking men, at Goldman and other places, whose marriages wrecked on the shoals of 100 hour work weeks, familial neglect, and mistaking material success for living a meaningful life. This 'guide' helps explain why.
ReplyDeleteMost of this advice is spot on; some of it hasn't aged well. If you can tell the difference, you probably don't need it anyway.
ReplyDelete-Mike
The classic's will out!
ReplyDeleteTake this list and as you read it think about old-school New England wasps. Does it apply? Hmmmmm
ReplyDeleteYes. Be thee a cash man. Frequent restaurants with a picture of the Man In Black on the door, and the word - Only.
ReplyDeleteCould you please translate? What does this mean?
DeleteOur daughter went to grad school at The University of Texas at Austin. I guess there is no University of Texas at Edge. But in Edge (Texas, yes) there is an excellent bar-b-que place. There’s no need to give directions to the bar-b-que. If you manage to find Edge, you’ll find the bar-b-que. On the front door of this establishment there is a photo of the Man In Black, Johnny Cash. Underneath the photo is printed one word, “Only.” We learned, over the 5 years our daughter was “at Austin” Texans have their own way of communicating. You’ll see this specific form of communication in many other places, mostly restaurants and cafes. If you’re hungry in Edge, and in Austin, be prepared to pull from your pocket and pay for your meal with something other than plastic.
DeleteHaving lived a diverse life over extended time, I found most of the comments re the article to be accurate and contain a subtle sophistication not known to today's participants.
ReplyDelete