Photo by Muffy Aldrich
Muffy Aldrich's SALT WATER NEW ENGLAND

Tuesday, January 28, 2025

A Reader Letter: Community and "people in the world who... share the values that I do..."

 A reader letter:

Dear Muffy,

Thank you for writing such beautiful pieces that bring me such joy. I am not eloquent enough to do your writing justice and explain how it makes me feel, so the best I can do is describe it as simultaneously reassuring and inspiring. I am in my early 30s and I read your work about WASPs and "The Thing Before Preppy" to feel reassured that there is a community of people in the world who dress like me, sound like me and share the values that I do, which is rare for me to find outside my inner circle of friends. I simply love your style and your ethos about "improving the scene but not standing out", which I like to refer to as understated elegance. 

For instance, a big sticking point for me is I have never really liked jeans - they always seem to look too casual for my style and are very tight and uncomfortable. I have also never appreciated when sales assistants, who are trying to be helpful and well-meaning, tell me the clothes I wear 'need to be tighter' or 'you are young, dress like it!', so I have loved seeing your khakis and sweaters and collars as an alternative. They are so much more comfortable! I think you always look like the epitome of elegance and taste. You show me that there is someone else out there who does not like wearing "fashion" and that it is ok not to dress in the cheap fashion trends of everyone else.

Lastly, the way you describe your clothes and your way of life makes me feel connected to my Grandparents, who helped to raise me but have sadly passed away. There is not a day goes by that I do not wish they were here with me but when I read your blog articles, from the fashion to the descriptions of a way of life, I feel as though they are. It is as though you are describing how we lived. If I may be so bold and so honoured to say, I think your parents and my grandparents would have been able to share each other's wardrobes.

I hope that 2025 is a really happy and healthy you for you and thank you for the work that you do.


15 comments:

  1. DUMB ADVICE: “You are young, dress like it!” (of course, this ignores the fact that the vast majority of youth today are fashion clueless.)

    And you’re right about jeans, and I think one should spend as little time (if any) in them as possible.

    Reminds me of the scene in “Donnie Brasco” where Al Pacino explains the Mafia dress code to Johnny Depp, telling him to stop wearing jeans if he wants to fit into the Mob – “This isn’t a rodeo.”

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  2. Young “Reader” is too modest. I think this post to be very well written—and also correct. JDV

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  3. Great post!!!! Well stated.

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  4. There is a current trend regarding wearing clothes as tight as possible, of which I am not a fan. It’s uncomfortable, and the way they cut the sport coats and suit coats currently, makes me feel like a gorilla when I wear them. I pretty much dress like it is 1963, and always have, and I don’t remember clothing being cut so tight before. I don’t think you should see my shirt and tie sticking out from under my suit coats. I hope this particular fad goes away soon, as I still enjoy wearing sport coats casually, despite everyone else being in Jeans, a sweatshirt, camouflage jacket and trucker cap. Please excuse the rant, I am old and crochety

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  5. What a delightful letter!

    Kind Regards,

    Heinz-Ulrich

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  6. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and ideals. This indeed feels like a community, and I for one wholeheartedly embrace it!

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  7. The original post brings up some good points. I went to college with a girl and her mother would not permit her to wear jeans. She kept up the tradition even when she was out of her mothers house. Brooks Brothers use to have "Red Label" which was a tighter fit. I bought a shirt under this label and wore it once and gave it to the Thrift Shop. I do not like clothes that are fitted as the stylist say.

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  8. I find denim jeans kind of uncomfortable, lean toward khakis or canvas instead. Denim is so ubiquitous, though. Simple styles, a little less form-fitting, worn with oxford button downs, maybe a blazer, moccasin shoes or loafers? I still think denim jeans can pass. It's up to you. Wear what makes you comfortable.

    I sometimes wear a Levi's Trucker Jacket and maintain they have a place in the prep lexicon. There is a reason Ralph Lauren has been wearing and selling them forever. Though many prep schools banned denim jackets in the 50s - a reaction to the James Dean rebel mentality - if you walked around prep towns, secondary schools & universities in the 80s, they were everywhere. I'm not talking about the majority of the genre today, which have been debased by spandex, artificial washes, needless style features and bling. Go for old school 100% denim (a Levi's trucker jacket, a classic, uses heavier-grade cotton than pretty much any field coat or barn jacket you'll find outside a Filson tin jacket), size up for a looser fit, and lighten them yourself a little with bleach & hydrogen peroxide soaks.

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    1. I grew up in the 80's and did not like denim jackets from that time. They were cut big and were thick and uncomfortable. Then in the 2010's the cut became more fitted like the ones from the 60's and thinner (probably to save money and not any other reason). They also incorporated stretch - which I know some people hate but I don't know why, since you can't see it and the material still rumple - which made it more comfortable. They come in all different fades now, from dark to light, so I wouldn't bother messing with bleach and hydrogen peroxide.

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  9. Denim jackets……hmmmmmm.

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  10. At least you have shop assistants which are a dying breed in rip-off Britain. Big name stores like John Lewis and Marks & Spencer are like clothing supermarkets with no staff to advise or help you.

    If you are lucky, you might find a staffed payment counter. In M&S, however, the staff automatically point you to the self-service tills which only take debit and credit cards. If you want to pay by cash, you are taken to the returns counter and treated like a Luddite nuisance.

    On the rare occasion that you can find someone (e.g. rearranging stock on the racks) to help you, their knowledge of the brand, garment quality and fit is virtually non-existent. The usual response to any question is to pull out the smart phone and search for the requested information on the company website.

    And yet the idiots who run the big chains can't understand why retails sales in Britain are stagnant or falling! Perhaps if they realised that staff should serve customers, rather than expect customers to serve themselves, sales could increase.

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  11. As for jeans, many, many years ago (51?) was frolicking, wearing dungarees/blue jeans, just out of reach of waves hitting the beach in Cohasset. Missed a step and was soaked up to my knees. Realized it would take the rest of the day for the jeans to dry. Decided I’d switch my casual pants to those which dried more quickly. Never wore jeans again and never looked back. Have worn khakis ever since.

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  12. Wet jeans. Right. Wonderful. Cannot believe whatsoever we skied in them!

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  13. You are a person of any age who ought to care about comfort, value, and our planet. Wear natural fibers, all natural and without that tiny bit of nylon, spandex, polyester, or some other plastic. If you wear such clothes, your outfits will all look timeless because they are.

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  14. What a wonderful letter!

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