On a recent post, reader Kaaterskill left this comment:
Someday we need to compile a "this, not that" list for SWNE. I'll nominate olive drab, not camo to the list.
So we started a list:
This… |
…not That |
|
Navy |
Black |
|
Olive Drab |
Camo |
|
Side of a group shot |
Center of a group shot |
|
Maine |
Nantucket |
|
We |
Me |
|
UK Made Barbour |
Outsourced Barbour |
|
Take your work seriously |
Take yourself (or your social media) seriously |
|
Fleece from sheep |
“Fleece” not from sheep |
Perfect, thanks for getting it started. I'll add:
ReplyDeleteRugs, not wall to wall
Retrievers, not doodles
Wagons, not SUVs
Collar buttons, not collar stays
Sailboats, not wake boats
Wood fireplaces, not gas
Bikes, not scooters
Records, not MP3s
Snow tires, not all season
Pews, not chairs
Weeding, not Roundup
Paths, not treadmills
Hymnals, not projectors
Thomas Moser, not Restoration Hardware
Thanksgiving, not Halloween
I'm sure I'll add more later.
How did "Organ, not guitar" no make your list, Kaaterskill?
DeleteBecause I approve of someone picking Silent Night on Christmas Eve.
DeleteA perfect list.
DeleteThings I get. Living, breathing creatures like Doodles do not ever belong on a " not that" list. Period. "This" go to the shelter and save a life.
DeleteLove retrievers but we all can’t be blessed with top shelf immune systems
DeleteAll animals are pretty wonderful, but most belong in the wild. All dogs are welcome here. Also, if anyone wants a wonderful older dog, I highly endorse Southwest English Setter Rescue.
Delete"Hymnal not projector." My rector husband would like to thank you for this one.
DeleteOur small, old church has three huge projector screens on which words of hymns are placed. I find it rather irreverent but they were in place long before I joined that church so I hold my tongue. Thank you for that addition to a lovely list. Naturally, there are exceptions to many of the “not that’s”, but they should be doled out about as often as weekend passes from River’s.
DeleteI'll take my black cashmere, Boston Whaler and Vespa and show myself out - lol.
ReplyDeleteThank you Miss Patsy!
DeleteAgreed, Patsy! While a full outfit may be discomforting for some, there is nothing wrong with wearing black (sweaters, jackets, etc.) and never a problem with cashmere! :)
DeleteI also agree! I’ll add sterling silver not vermeil or gold plated
DeleteGod bless you not Bless your heart
DeleteIn fairness, he did specify "wake boat", which a Whaler is most certainly NOT. How about, Boston Whaler, not Moomba?
Delete"Thanksgiving, not Halloween?" Oh honey, take a seat. Put your feet up and have a cocktail.
ReplyDeleteOK. Make mine a Manhattan. You have a point. But so does Kaaterskill. Halloween has been hi-jacked by adults. Time was you graduated from Halloween a couple years after you switched to using a pillow case to carry your candy, not a paper bag. Long about eighth grade. The Halloween celebration today is another example of our culture’s never ending adolescence.
DeleteI thought that one would be controversial!
DeleteHalloween in our historic neighborhood has been hijacked by adolescents from distant areas of the city. My reply, you're old to shave, get out of here.
DeleteAgreed. Let adults masquerade on New Year’s Eve or at Mardi Gras. Give Halloween back to the children. Unlikely. Not in a country where 30 and 40 year old childless couples take their vacation at Disney World.
DeleteYou hit the nail on the head. Evidently there is a consumer demographic group, and it’s growing, called “kidults.” These are buyers of toys, for their own use, aged in their twenties and thirties.
DeleteI used to think teenagers were too old for Halloween but on one hand we tell them they aren't adults, yet then we get after them for having fun and dressing up in costumes and eating candy?!
Delete-EM
Wheat jeans, not blue jeans
ReplyDeleteWaxed cotton, not Gore-tex
Brass zippers, not plastic zippers
Moxie, not Pepsi
Oil paintings, not acrylic paintings
Mudrooms, not game rooms
Genuine leather, not "genuine leather"
Real wood, not "real wood"
Cider, not apple juice
Tea, not tea-bags
Cast-iron, not non-stick
Maple syrup, not pancake syrup
Dunkins', not anything else
My dear Sir or Madam, how do you not discern that Dunkin is really awful coffee? Ugh. Come on. It's been so "corporatized" from what it once was (if it ever was) that even McDonald's is superior.
DeleteDunkin? Absolutely not.
DeleteDunkin is an awful name and I can no longer buy their products, thankfully.
Deleteink bottles, not ink cartridges
ReplyDeleteleather, not not bonded leather
cream, half-and-half, or milk, not Coffee-Mate
cheese not "vegan cheese"
mechanical, not quartz
milk shakes, not "shakes"
gentleman’s library not man cave
ReplyDeleteHear, hear!
DeleteRegular orange daylilies, not "Stella d'Oro" lilies
ReplyDeleteWooden clapboards, not vinyl siding
Dependable old cars, not flashy new cars
Cinnamon toast, not avocado toast
Aging naturally, not Botox and fillers
Wearing black to funerals, not weddings
Haddock, not tilapia
ReplyDeleteOyster crackers, not croutons
Bulkie rolls, not kaiser rolls
Picket fences, not chain-link
Stone walls, not brick walls
Square-cut nails, not round nails
Wide plank floors, not narrow
Quahogs, not escargot
Farm to table, not farm-to-table
Door latches, not doorknobs
1700s, not 1800s
T-shirts as underwear, not T-shirts as shirts
OCBD, not ACDC
Ladies:
ReplyDeleteFor comfort, wearing khakis and slim jeans, not skin-tight leggings
Logo-less handbags, especially not MK Michael Kors from TJ Maxx
Simple classic eyeglass frames, not those encrusted with designer logos on the side pieces, nor those wildly-exaggerated Iris Apfel styles.
Coffee, not frapuccino
ReplyDeleteWalking, not running
Sweaters, not hoodies
Ties, not open collars
China, not plasticwear
Phone calls, not emails
Lager or stout, not IPA
Blazers, not quarter zips
Lager not IPA ????
DeleteIPA = hipster beer. Opposite of everything here. Really "Any other beer, not IPA
DeleteThis one resonates.
DeleteJM, VA
I'm very thankful to those British hipsters in the 1700s. Signed, a dedicated IPA lover.
DeleteYes! I’d like to add handwritten thank you notes, not emails and cup and saucer not mug (the exception being a crisp autumn or chilly winter morning when the vessel will doubly as a hand warmer.
DeleteHand-written thank-you notes, not e-notes
ReplyDeleteBeer, not hard seltzer
Skiing, nor boarding
Wicker, not woven resin
Oaks, not Bradford pears
Weedy, not fairway-perfect
Pea gravel, not asphalt
Dry laid, not mortared
True divided lights, not applied or snap-in muntins
Incandescent, not LED (sorry)
Candle flames, not fake flames
Manners, not rudeness
Hanging back, not tailgating
Voting, not abstaining
Singing, not clamming up
Mocs, not Crocs
Boxers, not briefs
Cotton, not blends
Canvased, not fused
Cuffs, not plain hems
Comfy, not tight
Gray hair, not dyed hair
Shaven, not scruffy
Clean scrubbed, not made-up
Un-inked, not tattooed
Short nails, not long nails
Crushed oyster shell, not pea gravel
DeletePea gravel, not oyster shell, unless one is near the coast.
DeleteAnd kindness not anything else
DeleteGoodness! Where to begin?
ReplyDeleteThis may get me banned. I wear both olive drab, olive green, khaki (pronounced kharkee), camouflage (DPM), fleece instead of wool sweaters (but not exclusively), blue jeans and green jeans. I live in a house made of ticky-tack, covered with vinyl siding, just like everybody else in the neighborhood. There are two rugs on the downstairs floor: one just inside the front door, the other in front of the kitchen sink. Otherwise, the floor is bare wood, including the kitchen. Upstairs, wall-to-wall. I drink coffee (hot, black and sweet), not tea, and almost never anything alcoholic. I don't have a library or a man cave, but we have a basement. Not mentioned so far but we have neighbors from Egypt, Pakistan, Germany, Russia, and Texas. One family has a Ukranian flag in their window. Except for Germany, I haven't been to any of those places, but I've been to Oklahoma. I drive an SUV. My wife drives a station wagon. We have our differences. All of my favorite music includes an accordion.
You rock, BlueTrain.
DeleteFleece, gore tex (real hiking in wool & a Barbour jacket? that's not happening), AC/DC, labradoodles, gas fireplaces, IPA....i'll join you on the naughty list.
DeleteGood on ya!
DeleteI thought I'd add here that I try not to be dogmatic about any of these things. I have other things on my mind. I wear wool when it's cold enough and I even had a couple of mackinaw coats, one from Bemidji, the other from Filson. You folks up in New England probably have things from Johnson Woolen Mills. Bean still carries mackinaws, but they're imported now and so are Woolrich. Pendleton still has the best wool shirts. Gore-Tex is unbeatable for inclement weather. Waxed cotton is second best but otherwise good all-round, though not the best for long walks with a pack.
DeleteRefreshing- just living
DeleteTo clarify, my post “ refreshing… just living was a reply to Bluetrain’s post a bout being banned.
DeleteMaking a life, not simply making a living
DeleteLocal antique stores, not Target
ReplyDeleteBallet, not gymnastics (or cheerleading)
Natural dyes, not tie dyed
Classic pearls, not statement jewelry
Ahh, dear to my heart, pearls not diamonds
Delete(Unless it’s an evening black tie affair or one’s engagement ring)
Fun small talk, not conversational interrogation
ReplyDeleteYes - thank you for that as someone who lives in the DC area
DeleteRescue dogs-dogs in general, not cats-rescue or other.
ReplyDeleteFull disclosure, we just adopted a stray kitten and he is wonderful...but still.
Contact, not reach out. Appearances, not optics. Period, not exclamation point. Give, not gift. Assigned, not tasked with. Talk to, not conversate. Die, not pass. In the future, not going forward.
ReplyDeleteWag, not bark.
DeleteI wholly agree with this one.
DeleteExactly. Thanks for all of these. Particularly the use of 'pass' to mean 'die'. "My dear mother has passed". Immediate thought: What'd she pass? A stone? Gas?
Deleteor expired, as in expiration date on a carton of milk....
Delete"I'll have" the salmon, not "I'll do" the salmon
Delete"May I have", not "Can I get"
I neglected one of the worst transgressions of all: "issue" for "problem."
DeleteMiles Davis to 1965 or there abouts, not Miles Davis after 1965 or there abouts
ReplyDeleteJefferson Airplane, not Jefferson Starship
Moleskin notebooks, not notes app on phone
Paper books, not e-books (preferably hard bound)
Breathless with Belmondo, not Breathless with Gere
Kent Kings in soft pack (old pin striped graphics), not vaping of any kind
This-Conservative haircuts (for men).
ReplyDeleteNot that-Man buns, ponytails, or completely shaved heads.
Thank you for that comment!!
DeleteNon-dualistic thinking, not dualist thinking.
ReplyDeleteThinking, not dueling
DeleteNeed, not want.
ReplyDeleteHope, not hate.
Earned, not taken
Arthur Ashe, not Jimmy Connors
Suits worn with a necktie, NOT suits worn without a necktie.
ReplyDeleteKind Regards,
Heinz-Ulrich
Inherited, recycled, repurposed, repaired, and so on; not new
ReplyDeleteAnalog; not digital
MiUSA or in countries I respect; not made elsewhere
I realize there are many instances in which these biases are not practical, but they make good goals for me. I bake my own bread and make my own harissa, but I do like avocado toast with harissa, lemon, and Maldon salt for breakfast.i have had retrievers but prefer setters.
Setters are the ne plus ultra of bird dogs in the northeast where pointers get cold.
DeletePlus, when they are not outside, they turn into furniture. I have had two English setters in a row that climb onto the living room sofa and will not even lift their head to show interest if someone comes to the door.
DeletePencil, not felt-tip.
ReplyDeleteChalkboard, not whiteboard.
H.P Lovecraft, not Stephen King.
Snow snowman, not inflatable snowman.
Wrinkled, not non-iron.
Wrinkled, not botox.
Natural, not enhanced.
ReplyDeleteNatural, not reduced
repair, not replace
recycle, not trash
mellow, not frantic
kindness, not cruelty.
Family, not followers
ReplyDeleteLeather-bound, not electric
Natural, not synthetic
Manual, not automatic
Style, not fashion
Discrete, not conspicuous
Hand-me-down, not pop-up
Sailing, not motoring
Walking, not hiking
Excellent post, enlightening comments. Many thanks!
Thank you for Family on the first place!
Delete@Anonymous, you're welcome!
DeleteOld Mercedes, not new Mercedes.
ReplyDeleteGet Smart, not Austin Powers.
Cedar shingle, not stucco.
After switching summer clothes for "winter" clothes yesterday....wearing clothes for 20-25 years, not 20-25 times.
ReplyDeleteAntiques----MDF Furniture
ReplyDeleteOld Lamps----New Lamps
Cotton-----flex/performance fabric
Wool Rugs----Poly Rugs
Manners-----Trump-like.
The Big House----The Tiny House.
Wood Stove----Heat Pumps
Gardening----Landscaping Service.
Needlepoint----Pre-made Needlepoint
Leather----Pleather.
New England----anywhere else.
Real House Plants-----"faux" plants/orchids.
Not Decorated-----Interior Designer
Seasons Changing-----" It's always summer here!""
House------home.
Camp----lakehouse.
Canoe----Jet Ski.
Frugal------Hey Big Spendah!
I only disagree with one…I prefer home not house.
DeletePerennials, not annuals
ReplyDeleteHard cover, not paperback
Manilla paper, not white paper
Menus on blackboards, not menus on touchscreens
Black blackboards, not green blackboards
Muffins, not cupcakes
Fish cakes, not fish sticks
White chowder, not red chowder
PBS, not PBR
Thank you MaineWasp for "House; not Home."
ReplyDeleteAntiques store; not antique store
Trousers/pants; not slacks/slax
Tuxedo; not Tux
Belted pants; not sansabelt
Cleaning cloth; not cleaning rag
To pore over documents; not pour over documents
Gerbera daisy, not Gerber; Impatiens, not Impatience
A “home” is a lived in “house.”
Delete"Home" [in the context I'm talking about, which you want to divert to another context] is an unnecessary gentrification term for "House," probably started with Martha Stewart's aspirational "lifestyle" empire. "Please come to our home for drinks next Friday."
DeleteTo me, a home is where aged loved ones go to rest or live out their days, "nursing home" comes to mind.
DeleteThere are buildings occupied for some time by a group of people who have the same DNA. Do they live in a “family house” or a “family home?”
DeleteBeware of aspirational affectations/genteelisms, including Home instead of House. "Oh we are so pleased [1] you could come to our home [2] for dinner, let me put your flowers in a vahz[3], do join us in the great room [4] for cocktails[5].
DeleteMy home office (or is it study?) is filled with antiquarian New England books that almost exclusively use "home" and not "house."
DeleteI understand the house not home in context of invitations but I live in my home because my loved ones live there as well. A house is where others live. PS…I’m not in a long- term care facility, just blessed to have family near me.
DeleteThe Beinecke, not the Houghton
ReplyDeleteSkull and Bones, not the Porcellian
J Press, not Filenes
Ingalls, not Bright Landry
The Bowl, not the stadium
York Street, not Brattle Street
Ahbeets, not pizza
Wide-wale corduroy, not narrow-wale
ReplyDeleteOak, not teak
Brass, not steel
Suede not nubuck
Timex not Rolex
Nato straps not zulu straps
University stripes not pin stripes
Oxblood shoes not chili shoes
Six-toed cats, not six-toed neighbors
Single piece > Nato > zulu
DeleteThe Urban Gentry, not Archie Luxury
Delete“You’re welcome “ not “My pleasure,”
ReplyDeleteAlso - “You’re welcome”, not “No problem”.
DeleteAlso, "You're welcome" not "No worries."
DeletePlease and you not not saying a word
DeleteUsing good manners not doing or saying whatever you feel like
Live Christmas trees not any other type (if only…darned allergies)
"Suits worn with a necktie Not suits without a necktie" Yep, that about sums it up.
ReplyDeleteOkay, bring on the pitchforks and torches:
ReplyDeleteFull Windsor knot, not four-in-hand knot
I've been tying my tie the same way since I first learned how as a kid. I have no idea what the particular knot is called, but since my tie generally looks above average compared to others, I will stick with it.
DeleteMen have been known to join the Navy to avoid wearing a tie.
DeleteI love it
DeleteClassic not common
DeleteAdapting to a changing world > maintaining a doctrinally narrow view of things
ReplyDelete-Mike
This one's my favorite.
DeleteI agree !
DeleteOh, thank you! I would rather stay with "doctrinally narrow view of things"...
DeleteExcellent. I prefer to adapt as I see fit; maintaining my "doctrinally narrow view of things" which hurt no one, thereby exhibiting that holding on to some traditions is, in fact, okay. For instance, texting to advise an emergency, traffic holdup, or other inconvenience has changed your arrival time, is perfectly acceptable, whereas texting to advise that your baby has arrived is not. Most of the other things on these lists are a matter of personal taste and style and no one is in any way injured by holding on to them. Except perhaps by the consumption of Dunkin'... ;)
DeleteTraditions>fads
DeleteMost excellent!
ReplyDeleteCottage on the lake, not lake house!!!
ReplyDeleteIn the Thousand Islands we say camp no matter how grand the building.
DeleteThis was fun, thank you!
DeleteThousand Islands region, not Thousand Island dressing
DeleteYes. Russian is better anyway. ;)
DeleteThank you. You're welcome. Not, thank you. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteHalloween. Thanksgiving. Christmas.
ReplyDeleteNot, Merryhallothankmas.
Not "This...not that," but "these."
ReplyDeleteUsing “fewer” when talking about things one can count>less
Deletebooks - not kindle
ReplyDeletevolvos - not tesla
OK, gran. Settle down. Kindle is keeping the publishing industry afloat.
DeleteCompletely agree, @Anonymous10:35AM. I recently heard that purchased copies of classic books were altered this year to reflect new marketing campaigns. This will end well.
DeleteOld Volvo body design > new Volvo body design
DeleteAm I the only one saddened by the new design of the Volvo Cross Country? I always loved the boxy look.
Hi, how are you?...Fine, thank you.
ReplyDeleteNOT:
Fine, thank you for asking!!!
Or… Hi, how are you? > Good
DeleteThis Old House reruns, not HGTV
ReplyDeleteSugar maples, not silver
Travel mug packed, not Starbucks stop
Glasses, not contacts
Barns, not triple attached garages
Tennessee Walkers, not ATVs
Jonsered, not Echo
Notebook, not legal pad
Rubber floor mats, not carpet
Rakes, not leaf blowers
Allis-Chalmers, not Polaris
Paper wrapper, not styrofoam container
Regular cab, not extended
Basket, not cart
Taking the train, not sitting in traffic
Watering cans, not sprinkler systems
Hannaford, not Wegman's
Clover, not chemicals
ReplyDeleteWeeds, not uniformity
Native plants, not invasives
Perennials, not annuals in plastic planters
Cloth napkins, not paper
Yankee thrift, not conspicuous consumption
Food lover, not foodie
Rearing children, not raising them
DeleteVarnished interior woodwork, not painted over
ReplyDeleteCommentary on a trend that's been going for at least a decade now, motivated by this monstrous remodel profiled in today's Times: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/06/realestate/salem-historic-home.html
They managed to turn magnificent original woodwork into a facsimile of chipboard coated in plastic, and when they (or a future owner, or society) come to their senses they're not going to get that paint off.
Interesting that people think that the tastes and opinions of others, if not exactly as their own are off-base
ReplyDelete