What is the difference between being a snob (wine, clothes, food, cars, etc.) and just, as one friend put it, having "very clear preferences"?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Photo by My Father
Muffy Aldrich's SALT WATER NEW ENGLAND
Muffy Aldrich
Muffy Aldrich, Editor of Salt Water New England: The Thing Before Preppy, since 2010. And a 12th Generation New Englander.
- Original Photographs.
- Timeless, Preppy Clothing.
Most Items Sent By Vendors
I have very clear preferences, too, but the older I get the less I'm willing to follow others' prescriptions in those matters mentioned above.
ReplyDeletethe difference is good manners.
ReplyDeletea snob makes other people feel put down, (or would do so if they knew what was said behind their back), while good taste is personal and has no need to compare
Absolutely agree. Manners and good taste.
DeleteCouldn't have put it better.
DeleteWhat Unknown 5:43 said.
ReplyDeleteAttitude. If you're obnoxious about it you're a snob. If it's just a part of who you are and you aren't a jerk about it, it's high standards. One of my mentor pastors talks about the difference between "warm" High Church and "cold" High Church. They can be doing the same things, with the same high quality vestments and sanctuary appointments but "warm" is inviting and makes people want to participate. "Cold" is being stuffy to an extreme and pushing people away.
ReplyDeletePerfectly said! --Holly in PA
DeleteMy opinion is a Snob is when you like something because the image it gives. High standards is when you like something no matter what image it projects.
ReplyDeleteCouldn’t agree more. I think you nailed it. Right to the point.
DeleteAgree that it is about attitude, manners and just be yourself.
ReplyDelete$$$,$$$ or $$,$$$....
ReplyDeleteGood manners, will out! Thank you so very much!
ReplyDeleteMaybe “snob” is just a pejorative term to discredit high standards. Rudeness is something different and distributed among people whether they have high standards or not.
ReplyDeleteWell stated!
DeleteSnobs, whether their standards are actually high or not, seem to enjoy flaunting their tastes, imposing them on others, and belittling or dismissing others' preferences. High standards can be used with discretion, restraint, and kindness, and when someone else has different standards you can show appreciation and politeness. Snobs are often associated with expensive and exotic things. That is too bad. The occasional snob I encounter is often missing out on a wider world.
ReplyDeleteSnobs have no class and are often pretentious. People with high standards, who are not snobs, have class and grace without pretension.
ReplyDeleteWell said, snobs have no class (or manners), BUT think they do!
DeletePretentious? Moi?
DeleteI have a clear preference for Artie Shaw over Benny Goodman, and salmon nigiri over fried catfish, but I don't look down on or dismiss Benny Goodman, fried catfish, or the people who like them. I have even known of people who listen to Benny Goodman while eating fried catfish, and I try not to judge.
ReplyDeleteA loaded question -- kind of like trying to navigate a mine field while wearing snow shoes.
ReplyDeleteI think it's a matter of perception. For example, what Evelyn Waugh described as the "lower orders" might interpret innocent good taste and manners as trying to be one leg up on them. In some cases, they would be correct if the intent was to point out their alleged inferiority, whereas usually the enlightened offender had no such intention.
And I think we should make a distinction between a "silent snob" who looks down on others but hides it, and the "open snob" who enjoys showing off in front of the plebeians. And true snobs simply substitute the letter "n" in their title with the letter "l" in their assessment of what's currently running around in our hyper sensitive society.
I don't think I have the words to define the difference but I know when I see the difference between a snob and someone who is kind and gracious. I don't care for being around people who are snobs/pretentious. I loathe rudeness. "Is that sweater acrylic, it always looks so nice when you wear it"; I don't care to be near any of that sort.
ReplyDelete"Be pretty if you can, be witty if you must, but be gracious even if it *kills* you"--anon/not sure where I heard this.
Fantastic quote. Thanks
DeleteA row of Sub-Zero refrigerators full of gourmet ice cream shown and bragged about on social media is snobbery. My neighbor's seventeenth century house with a single Sub-Zero refrigerator and other top of the line appliances with Kroger house brand ice cream is clear preference/high standards. They have a twenty five year old Mercedes diesel as well.
ReplyDeleteWhat's scary about some clueless snobs is they don't realize their snobs -- as the bragging woman with the $25K Sub-Zero refrigerators full of gourmet ice cream so well illustrates.
DeleteUhh ... what about my 17th c. New England house with a 20-year-old fridge & freezer filled with frugal homemade food, and a 12-year-old Honda CR-V in the driveway? And a perfectly functional kitchen last updated in 1958? I'm starting to think this may be reverse snobbism! LOL
DeleteAre there Kroger supermarkets in places where there are also seventeenth century houses? Just curious.
DeleteAnonymous at 5:04 PM:
DeleteThere aren't many, but there are a few 17th Century Kroger Supermarkets in those locations.
Good question. Stop and Shop, Shaw’s, Big Y, and Hannaford markets likely sit, somewhere, side by side with a seventeenth century manse. Kroger’s too? Where?
DeleteWe have a few dotted here and there around the Old Dominion.
Delete@Anonymous 5:01 . . . this is me too! 1949 range that's prepared countless family meals, original knotty pine, oiled hundreds of times with a soft cloth, pink tiles in our only full bathroom reminding me of the inside of a seashell...can't bear to replace our leaky shower faucet which has worked for over 7 decades, knowing that the subsequent replacement would likely come in less than 1. I'm driving a Subaru Outback bought before kids and before marriage when we were in grad school. Our fridge is a total eye sore and I'm looking to replace it even though it works just fine. Aesthetic standards coming into play, and the old, yellowing fridge is going to the garage for kitchen overflow.
DeleteTheir is nothing wrong with having good taste in clothes, music, food. What is wrong is when you look down on others that don't have your taste preferences.
ReplyDeleteWhat also is wrong is when you are made fun of by others because of your good taste. Snobs can be of both kinds. Upper middle class snobs and middle class and poor snobs.
Snobbery is a symptom of insecurity, it manifests itself in bad manners and a lack of kindness and a narrow point of view. High standards are an appreciation of quality, workmanship and a high regard for creativity. “Beware of snobbery is the unwelcome recognition of one’s own past failings.” Cary Grant
ReplyDeleteBravo, well stared!
DeleteIt is a very blurry line, often, between snobbery and preference. As many have mentioned above, it’s all in the delivery. A “New Haven pizza snob,” for example, can only offer a taste. If it’s declined, so be it. Education can compensate. But not everyone is open to advanced learning. Even when it comes to apizza.
ReplyDeleteI think being a snob involves comparing yourself to others and believing yourself superior. Having high standards has nothing to do with other people. You just know what works best for you and you don't impose your ideas or compare.
ReplyDeleteKindness.
ReplyDeleteThe difference is keeping one's very clear preferences to oneself.
ReplyDeleteI'd rather be a snob than a slob.
ReplyDeleteOne has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the other. Nothing.
DeleteYes, it does because being a hypocrite is being a slob, and there are many hypocrites amongst polite Society. There I said it.
DeleteManners maketh the Man...or Woman ;-)
ReplyDeleteHigh standards should be what everyone strives to have IMHO.....
Precisely!
DeleteI think everyone has to go throw a stage of snobbery when they're improving at something before they truly actualise and realise what good taste. I suppose snobbery is the result of a person who is not yet fully educated on a topic, whatever that topic might be, it seems like a natural part of progression in anything. I think the problem is when someone dwells in that mindset for too long and doens't pick up on the signs of detest from others when they manifest their snobbish behaviours.
ReplyDelete