A reader question:
Hi Muffy—As you have one of the best online communities around, I wondered if I can pose a question?
I am watching the once quaint and beautiful place my family has called home for generations being destroyed in real time. Overdevelopment, over crowding, insane traffic and aggressive drivers everywhere. As we are in proximity to NYC, we are being inundated by transplants leaving Manhattan and the boroughs and It’s only going to get worse. I am looking to get out in the next few years and have been eyeing a few towns in CT that remind me of what my area used to be like.
In researching, the best matches for my needs have been Essex, Old Saybrook, East Lyme and Niantic. Does your community have any suggestions for someone at mid life starting over in this area, or other suggestions? My most important factors are going to be quaint, quiet —but some sense of community- and coastal. Parks to walk the dogs and equestrian facilities in proximity are ideal. I promise not to be an obnoxious transplant like the people ruining my hometown!
New Haven
ReplyDeleteThere are a number of towns in Eastern Connecticut that have not been inundated by “city-its.” But you will never find one on the shoreline. Sorry. Maybe if you go up Down East there might still be places that fit your aspirations. But you won’t find the shoreline town you’re looking for in Massachusetts, Connecticut, or Rhode Island. “Congestion” is the word that describes anyplace on the shoreline. “Quaint” left the barn decades ago. You might eventually find a small inland village that appeals to you. They’re out there. And if you really, really, want to get off to a good start in that small town, join the volunteer fire department or, if there is one, the ambulance squad. If you’re aged out of either then donate a lot of money to each group. You will be genuinely be welcomed and respected by the local community. .
ReplyDeleteSWNE says my comment is too long. So, I will break it into two...
ReplyDeletePart 1 of 2
While it's true that the mass exodus from NYC during COVID changed the Shoreline somewhat, there remain many, many lovely villages and towns with wonderful people. I say this with confidence because I live in one of them. As the reader seems to know, if you want to get away from things like visible logos and a lot of plastic surgery, you’ll need to keep heading northeast past Darien, Westport, and Southport all the way to the other side of New Haven. Here's what you will find, running from west to east:
Branford: Slightly overdeveloped, but it has nice proximity to J. Press and events at Yale, a vibrant downtown, and one of the most extraordinary small-town public libraries in New England (James Blackstone Memorial Library). The Pine Orchard Yacht and Country Club is a nice social hub. And the Stoney Creek neighborhood is one of my favorite places in Connecticut, with a ferry out to the Thimble Islands. Gorgeous and tasteful.
Guilford: Offers one of the most beautiful and iconic town greens in New England, including glorious Congregational and Episcopal churches, a nice public library, and loads of historic architecture. The Guilford Yacht Club is a hearty social group, and the neighborhood called Sachem's Head is one of the most scenic you will find anywhere.
Madison: a lovely and refined small town with several unique offerings. In addition to its own iconic town green, it has a fantastic links-style golf course at the Madison Country Club, a beach and tennis club, and one of the region's few luxury hotels (Madison Beach Hotel). It is also home to Hammonasset Beach State Park, one of the best beaches and wildlife viewing areas on Long Island Sound. Madison is also home to RJ Julia Bookstore and Susan Powell Fine Art, both of which punch far above their weight. While the Shoreline is not known for its restaurants, Bar Bouchée is terrific.
Clinton/Westbrook: While these towns are not as scenic as the others on the list, they have the best facilities for boaters: gas, provisions, repairs, hurricane protection, etc. Plus, the home prices and property taxes are often lower than in the other towns. They also offer some can't-miss seafood restaurants, including the inimitable Lobster Landing. And Clinton has a decent country club.
Old Saybrook: The largest town on this list, it has big supermarkets (with a Whole Foods currently under construction), a Walmart, chain stores and restaurants, and other such things. Despite its size, it has a lovely tree-lined downtown full of locally owned stores and restaurants. Old Saybrook also offers two of the most beautiful neighborhoods in Connecticut: North Cove and Fenwick. The Essex is a great fine-dining restaurant, and Johnny Ad's has good fried seafood. The Saybrook Point Resort is a terrific semi-luxury getaway with a restaurant (Fresh Salt) offering unbeatable water views.
Now we reach the Connecticut River. If you go up the west side of the river, you are technically no longer on the Shoreline. But you will find three of the most delightful towns in New England: Essex, Deep River, and Chester. Each one is a jewel box of historic architecture and a tight community. Essex is one of my favorite places in the world, with the Essex, Corinthian, and Dauntless yacht clubs, Griswold Inn, Connecticut River Museum, and The Black Seal, among many, many other sights and activities.
Excellent recap. Thank you. Branford also has a fine green. But Branford, like all the towns you mention, is more than “slightly overdeveloped.”
DeleteWest Haven! Little known is the gem of a green to be found in West Haven. It’s not horse country. But the town beaches are as good as any. Back in the day the beaches were littered with abandoned cars. No longer!
DeletePart 2 of 2
ReplyDeleteOnce you jump over the river (there's only one bridge!), you are in Lyme/Old Lyme. The vast mansion and super yacht on the south side of the bridge belong to Herb Chambers, the auto king of Boston. He commutes to Boston by helicopter.
Lyme/Old Lyme are lovely spots with a rustic/farmland feel in places. Hamburg Cove Yacht Club is a delightful place tucked away on the east side of the river. Old Lyme has several nice beach clubs and two terrific country clubs (Old Lyme Country Club and Black Hall Club). It is also home to the Florence Griswold Museum, the Lyme Academy of Fine Arts, and the Lyme Art Association, three premier art and educational organizations. The Roger Tory Peterson Natural Area Preserve offers fantastic bird and wildlife viewing.
Old Lyme stretches far to the east along the coast, comprising several quiet, modest residential communities that eventually give way to East Lyme and then the village of Niantic. While not as scenic as some other towns, Niantic offers terrific marinas, an incredible bakery called Sift, and one of the most fantastic bookstores anywhere, the Book Barn.
That is perhaps more information than you wanted :). In any case, you will find equestrian facilities in (or near to) each of these towns.
I’ll just add that you might also keep heading east in your search. If you skip over Waterford/New London/Groton/Mystic, you will hit Stonington, which is an absolute corker of a town. Just a jewel. And next comes Watch Hill, Rhode Island, which (despite the notoriety brought by Taylor Swift) remains one of the loveliest, most beautiful, and most tasteful villages in New England, with not one but two world-class beaches.
Happy hunting!
I wish you every success, but I doubt that you'll find a long-term solution. The sad fact is that most people today are loud, idiotic trash, and there's nowhere left to flee. I suspect that even in Tibet your life would be dominated by fat people who listen to loud music and talk like the internet.
ReplyDeletePeace, quiet and privacy are the most elusive things to find in this day and age.
DeleteI would forget New England and take a look at Buffalo New York.
ReplyDeleteDeep River, Conn. It’s not on the Sound. But there’s plenty of room for horses. It has a legitimate, decent little downtown. And Deep River Grand Apizza can pretty much hold its own with any purveyor of the classic New Haven pie.
ReplyDeleteI am the original poster who posed the question. I knew this was the community to ask and that would deliver! Time to plan a road trip to investigate in person. Many thanks, particularly for the two part, detailed response. This is exactly the kind of guidance I was seeking.
ReplyDeleteIf you are not adamant about being on the coast, Litchfield County in the northwest corner has some beautiful and relatively quiet small towns. Very nice communities, too. Sharon, Salisbury, and Lakeville to name a few.
ReplyDeleteLitchfield is stunning country with beautiful towns. Having been born and raised 10 minutes from the ocean and living for decades on rivers, creeks and estuaries near the coast. I find that if I move even 30 minutes inland, it feels like I am suffocating. Yes, I know, it is kind of a problem and I should probably take a Xanax and widen my horizons.
ReplyDeleteMany of my friends and family in Southern New England feel the need to be “close to the water.” They are usually “sitting in traffic.”
DeleteMany Litchfield County towns are beautiful. But the locals act as if they own the place.
ReplyDeleteThey do.
DeleteAre you looking for hunter/jumper, dressage or eventing? If eventing I'd think the northwest corner of CT is the better bet. Otherwise it seems like you have more options.
ReplyDeleteOh thank you—I am English/ Hunter Jumper. Not looking to go to the Olympics, but a nice boarding and training facility with excellent care would be essential.
DeleteReading this as an old Econ major and a longtime proponent of free markets, I ask myself how we address the underlying problem (nice places being overrun). Free markets are what brought us here, after all.
ReplyDeleteI don't live in New England. I'm in Leelanau County, Michigan - 300 miles northwest of Detroit, a 30-something mile long peninsula jutting out into the cobalt blue waters of northern Lake Michigan (yes, it's not the Atlantic, but it's not really a "lake", either; think "freshwater inland sea" instead.) So a nice place to live, all in all.
But what's happened here in recent decades is kind of stunning. Many of the cherry orchards that were historically the backbone of the local economy have been torn out and replaced by vineyards and the accompanying tasting rooms. Throw in an ever-growing roster of brewpubs, distilleries, and "cideries" and you see that drinking is now the #1 form of recreation in Leelanau. This has been made possible by the rise of Air BNB, where a great percentage of the local housing stock has been snapped up by investors and turned into short-term rentals serving our delightful visitors from Detroit and Chicago who just want to go Up North and get blitzed.
It's hard to blame an investor. If you can buy some junky old house that no one would want to live in, but advertise it as "sleeps 12" and rake in several hundred dollars a night, the math makes it a pretty compelling case - but, for the residents, much less of a pleasant place to live than it used to be.
So, what's the answer? Move? (And become someone else's "fudgie"?)
It's interesting that wealthy free-marketers almost always choose to live in places with the tightest zoning and highest taxes. My grandfather was a Friedman disciple who lived in a gorgeous coastal town with iron-fisted zoning. I often said to him that, by his principles, his neighbors ought to be able to put up billboards, open a fast food restaurant, and build a tenement. He never saw the contradiction. And he never could explain why the US has the freest markets in the G20 and also the lowest human development score.
DeleteMy wish for you is that the folks in your new town are a lot more welcoming than you were.
ReplyDeleteI have been in my home area for 40 plus years. We are a very welcoming community. However, we now have masses descending that have no connection to our local towns and their history. There is enormous entitlement and a sense of “get out of the way, we’re here now, too bad” that is making locals upset. This is jarring, especially when it’s loud and vulgar in presentation. I very sorry that my mourning for the place I have always lived, loved and my family has had roots for 340 years being made unrecognizable is perceived as unwelcoming . I never wanted to leave but the crowding, over construction and sense of alienation are becoming unbearable.
DeleteWell said!
DeleteA lot of things get pushed to the side when a society prioritizes wealth accumulation and protection.
ReplyDeleteWhere to begin? For starters, both parents work to earn the money needed to pay for the child care they need because they are working.
ReplyDeleteMoney makes the world go round and solves many problems, but it also ruins everything. Both statements can be true at once, and we can keep trying to figure out how to reconcile them.
ReplyDeleteAs others have said, the coast is lovely but too congested to make for a good life. Alas. Try West Hartford, Farmington, Avon. Hell, even Bloomfield, a distinctly and decidedly non-"prep" town, if you can find a rural or semi-rural property on a decent amount of land, on the West Hartford side of things. But best to avoid Glastonbury-- frightfully middle (not upper-middle) class, the antithesis of "prep."
ReplyDelete