Photo by My Father
Muffy Aldrich's SALT WATER NEW ENGLAND

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

What habits from prep school do you still have today?

Photo by Salt Water New England
For those who went to prep school, either as a day student or as a boarder, what habits, good or bad, did you pick up that remain with you today?
Some comments:
As a 21st century prep school graduate, one differentiator is that I’m comfortable wearing pants even on the hottest of days! 
Being over prepared! :) 
In my kindergarten school picture I'm wearing a blue blazer, an OCBD, and a repp bow tie. I wore the same ensemble throughout my school years. And as I sit here about to teach my next class at a New England boarding school, I'm still wearing it. Semper eadem.  
Clogs, khakis, OCBD shirts and Clinique makeup. Good manners and thank you notes. 
Decorum at all costs- not oversharing thoughts and feelings because really, in the end, nobody cares. Today there is a tendency to reveal too much, how much one makes, what something costs, and on and on. It becomes exhausting to pretend to care. I don't and find my eyes glaze over much of the time. 
My years in prep school taught me that it is better to swim than to sink, that I'd only be fooling myself if I thought I was either unique or particularly special, that nobody likes a contrarian or a complainer, and that downers get left behind. (Reggie Darling) 
Weejuns. Wool. Button downs. LL Bean sweaters. Voracious reading. An absolute solidarity with my classmates that never wanes. Observing before engaging. 
A heavy reliance on the wonders of shoe goo, formerly motivated by a scheme to use the money for new loafers to buy beer. Pairing foul weather gear with blazers and suits which is likely not a great look on an adult. Overall preference for repairing and holding onto things rather than replace...now as a lawyer I wear the same blazers from my senior year (thankfully my mother always bought a size too big) (TGK) 
Manners, pearls, the utility of a well made navy blazer, understated makeup, and always pushing my chair back into place after rising from a desk or dining table.
• The habitual use of "sir" to any male older than I.
• A certain fondness for navy blazers, OCBD shirts, khaki slacks, loafers as an all-occasions dress code.
• Always, always having three or four books going at once. (I know it sounds snobby, but ink-on-paper is where I go for relaxation.) 
To nearly "All the above" I'll add my love of outdoor sports. I spend a good portion of everyday every season outdoors.(Suzanne ) 
Tendency to over-dress for informal events and under-dress for formal ones. (Sartre) 

83 comments:

  1. As a 21st century prep school graduate, one differentiator is that I’m comfortable wearing pants even on the hottest of days!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As a 1949 prep school graduate I can only say amen to all of the above, the world's oldest preppy...!!!
      Arthur Edwin Lloyd III

      Delete
  2. I still wear Bass Weejuns out and about.

    ReplyDelete
  3. As a 20th century prep graduate, I'm comfortable wearing shorts, even on cold days, with wool rag socks and Bean bluchers. Also, I never appear without a belt or an white crew neck undershirt.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I wear the Top siders and I wear the clogs. I make sure I have white turtlenecks and crewneck sweaters. Despite having to wear a uniform (a plaid skirt), I still love tartan and plaid.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Good study habits. Churchgoing. Respect for authority -- even if we did not show it then.

    Ironic attitude and a tendency toward sarcastic remarks. Never too early for a drink.

    Layering. Tendency to over-dress for informal events and under-dress for formal ones.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Sartre, I would have thought your school memory was encapsulated in your witty remark, 'I have no need for good souls: an accomplice is what I wanted'.

      Delete
    2. Indeed! You just described me.

      Delete
  6. rolled sleeves rather than short sleeved button downs, boat shoes (no socks), and layering

    ReplyDelete
  7. Catholic Girls Day School - fear of being late.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not to mention nuns with rulers.

      MaryAnne

      Delete
  8. Other than dress, which has changed very little - short pants and I still tuck my tie inside my shirt at lunch.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Being over prepared! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's it!! That is what I see in my husband and sister-in-law.

      Delete
  10. In my kindergarten school picture I'm wearing a blue blazer, an OCBD, and a repp bow tie. I wore the same ensemble throughout my school years. And as I sit here about to teach my next class at a New England boarding school, I'm still wearing it. Semper eadem.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oxford Cloth Button Down shirt unless there's a reason not to. Work hard, play hard.

    ReplyDelete
  12. While my "prep" school was a rural high school in south central Illinois, way more years than I want to admit later, I am still wearing Weejuns, dirty canvas sneakers, khakis and OCBD shirts.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Trying too hard . . .

    ReplyDelete
  14. Clogs, khakis, OCBD shirts and Clinique makeup. Good manners and thank you notes.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Decorum at all costs- not oversharing thoughts and feelings because really, in the end, nobody cares. Today there is a tendency to reveal too much, how much one makes, what something costs, and on and on. It becomes exhausting to pretend to care. I don't and find my eyes glaze over much of the time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agree completely. People today, especially the young, have an overwhelming need to share everything with everyone. Although I did not go go boarding school, I was taught that one doesn't talk about personal matters in public, especially politics and/or religion. If more people adhered to that modest principle today, perhaps we wouldn't be so divided.

      Delete
    2. I stumbled on the blog last night from Pinterest and grateful for that. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed reading countless posts and have a much better view into the way my parents raised me. This is a fantastic point about being so divided. I’m in my early 30s and have yet to hear someone describe it like this. I couldn’t agree more.

      Delete
  16. Went to a Southern military boarding school. Lord of the Flies environment. Learned to trust my gut instinct about people. Still do a military tuck for my shirts. No patience for bullies. Keep shoes either shined, or, for boat shoes, leather clean and supple.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. J - So very true... I did not attend a prep school but did go to college at The Citadel and think the experience there was very much mid twentieth century prep school. I've found myself nodding along in agreement to 90% of these comments. "Lord of the Flies" indeed!

      Delete
  17. My years in prep school taught me that it is better to swim than to sink, that I'd only be fooling myself if I thought I was either unique or particularly special, that nobody likes a contrarian or a complainer, and that downers get left behind.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Weejuns. Wool. Button downs. LL Bean sweaters. Voracious reading. An absolute solidarity with my classmates that never wanes. Observing before engaging. Decorum. Being polite even when those around me are rude. And unfortunately, the smirk and nod.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Crack of dawn run across the park; shower & head out with wet hair. Dressing in layers. Practice to make things look easy. Putting people at ease.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Still brush my teeth in the shower.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Practice, practice, practice. Weejuns, tartan, pearls, crisp white blouses, camel polo coat. Be polite and never make someone uncomfortable. And as dear Michael Rowe said eating quickly! cheers

    ReplyDelete
  22. I over-dress for drinks parties and lunch . I find it difficult to go casual. My father instilled this upon me and I'll stay with it to the grave .........

    ReplyDelete
  23. 67 years old. Today at work...Blue blazer, Khakis, OCBD, crew neck sweater, Sperrys Camel wool topcoat....some things never change

    ReplyDelete
  24. Glad to see no one wrote “smoking” :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I didn't mention it because I quit! :D Our "Stoop Group" would smoke or simply sit and chat on the nearby brownstone stairs between classes. When it was nice out we'd walk to Central Park at lunch.

      Delete
    2. We had a smoking lounge! Granted it was an outdoor courtyard, only open to upperclassmen but still - smoking in high school - yikes!

      Delete
    3. Our headmaster smoked cigars in his office and the elevator operator smoked a pipe right in the elevator. We did have a student lounge but no smoking was permitted in there.

      Delete
    4. We had a smoking area at school too, an old picnic table under an oak tree. Hard to believe now!

      Delete
  25. A heavy reliance on the wonders of shoe goo, formerly motivated by a scheme to use the money for new loafers to buy beer. Pairing foul weather gear with blazers and suits which is likely not a great look on an adult. Overall preference for repairing and holding onto things rather than replace...now as a lawyer I wear the same blazers from my senior year (thankfully my mother always bought a size too big) and use the same back pack.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I did not attend prep school.
    Please forgive me for using this opportunity to say to Reggie Darling that I am so happy to see his comment. I followed his blog for years, and then it suddenly stopped. I'm telling myself that because he commented here, he must be doing at least okay. I learned a number of things from Reggie's writing. I'm just about to finish my last bottle of Caldrea Mandarin Vetiver dish soap. I learned about this soap from Reggie, and I've enjoyed using it for years. Sadly, it has been discontinued. I think I will try Mrs. Meyers Lemon. Thank you, Reggie for being you. If this comment is too off-topic Muffie can delete it. Also, I'm Anonymous, not because I want to be anonymous, but because I am barely computer literate, and I don't have accounts at places like Google.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's a wonderful comment, and I'm also a fan of Mr. Darling. Hopefully you follow him on Instagram, where he posts the most marvellous pictures.

      Delete
  27. The impulse to vomit at the sight of overcooked green vegetables, especially stuffed peppers. During winter term they appeared way too often at dinner or supper. Except for fresh salad greens, tomatoes and shredded carrots that torture ruined vegetables for me for life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh mercy! I had blocked out the memory of stuffed bell peppers. So vile!

      Delete
  28. That's where I learned the truth - that a uniform, the color navy blue, plaids and tartans, all these will keep you well turned out, appropriate and at your ease.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Smoking actual oval-shaped cigarettes (“English Ovals”), during my one year of prep school, is a reminder of how pretentious a 14 year old can be.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Manners, pearls, the utility of a well made navy blazer, understated makeup, and always pushing my chair back into place after rising from a desk or dining table.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I went to a bohemian prep school. I still wear a beret.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Catholic all-boys prep school. I call everyone "Sir," "Ma'am," or "Father."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, yes....and i remember detention too...1hr afer school looking at a blackboard !!!

      Delete
  33. Because we were somewhat isolated from civilization, we kept in touch through newspapers and classroom discussion of current events. I've been an avid consumer of news ever since. I'm constantly shocked to meet people who know little about the world, unless we go to war with a particular country.

    MGC

    ReplyDelete
  34. • The habitual use of "sir" to any male older than I.
    • A certain fondness for navy blazers, OCBD shirts, khaki slacks, loafers as an all-occasions dress code.
    • Always, always having three or four books going at once. (I know it sounds snobby, but ink-on-paper is where I go for relaxation.)

    ReplyDelete
  35. Thank you, Muffie.

    ReplyDelete
  36. To nearly "All the above" I'll add my love of outdoor sports. I spend a good portion of everyday every season outdoors.
    Suzanne

    ReplyDelete
  37. the craaaak! of that disc on ashwood
    wind in the trees
    showers of ice shavings

    ReplyDelete
  38. Poise and Balance: how to deftly shimmy up a fire escape at night. The wonders of WD-40.

    True Appreciativeness of The Three Food Groups: any coffee with cream and sugar.

    Financial Analyst: How to spend all your money at least seven times before purchasing a thing or better yet the current rate of loaning yours.

    Limits and Liabilities: stuffing your dirty laundry bag, spatial awareness of one’s car trunk, a sibling’s hot date. Actual hours of sleep needed.

    Cultivated varieties and social graces: able to adapt to whomever, whatever, whenever, and why… ever. Asset for not getting beat up or for accessing the future Corporate Opportunities.

    Phobias: a large amount of flowing black material, thick wooden rulers, etymology, squeaky highlighters, grey stringy or slimy vegetables.

    Velocity: cafeteria meals, mid terms, Friday nights, quantities of beer, economics, bad pizza, the laws of gravity…life.

    Currents: AC and DC, government, early morning rowing, campus politics.

    Pre Majors: theories vs. career options, financial aid, technological solutions, purgatory, practicality, hereditary, advancing holidays…Begging & Groveling 101.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Perseverance and resilience

    ReplyDelete
  40. This has been an enjoyable read. Thank you : )

    ReplyDelete
  41. A uniform that I wore to Catholic Schools some 40 years ago I still wear. Navy Blazer, gray slacks, white button down and blue tie. I mix things up now with khakis and rep ties. At 61 I still call people Mr. or Mrs. when I meet them.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Bed-making, deference and adherence to the rules of grammar.

    ReplyDelete
  43. I'd have to say a love of rowing... and vodka.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Wonderful post, I remember my catholic school!!! Good manners, good grammar...

    ReplyDelete
  45. Hubby, an Old Etonian, has highly polished shoes and manners, a clean white handkerchief at all times and all apparel from 'meh tailor'.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Can't go on with the day unless the room is in pristine order. God, I mis the UK.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Was this picture taken at The Gunnery?? Sure looks like it! That's where I went!

    ReplyDelete
  48. I am 66 now and being taught respect all those years ago has stood me very good stead. Never feeling 'second' to anyone. Not necessarily better (big-headedness was soon bashed out of us) but feeling equal. I guess you could call it confidence.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Finally understanding why my dad always wore a scally cap when working on projects around the house and playing golf. I saw photos of him and his brother at Salisbury in the 30s and apparently it was the thing to wear then! Prep habits die hard.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Honey not bombs. Simple is more! Buy it once, buy it to last! For the love of loafers, always keep a roll of duct tape handy. “Where are the damn keys to my parents Volvo? I’m dead! Wool is a life saver!:)

    ReplyDelete
  51. Prior preparation prevents poor performance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was thinking about that expression just last night. The version I was taught had another p-word in it just before "poor." My school wasn't the ultimate in polish, but our rhetorical style was ornate in its own way.

      Delete
    2. Slade, I know what word you're talking about. I suppose that's a more colorful version and I believe it's the preferred version in the military. At my school the use of that word would have been strongly discouraged.

      Delete
  52. My Top Siders, and gaffers tape has got me this far!

    ReplyDelete
  53. I went to a bohemian prep school in Florida. I still say "man" and "dude" a lot, and have very few inhibitions about tending to my bodily functions in front of other people.

    ReplyDelete
  54. I can still tie a bow tie at a dead sprint across a frozen quad.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Backgammon and dip. I managed to stop the later, but still love the former.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Among others, tucking my tie inside my shirt at meals.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Most of these comments, especially regarding clothing, manners, etc., I still adhere to and I went to public schools. However, I did grow up in the Charlottesville, VA area in the 50's and 60's.

    ReplyDelete
  58. I did a tour in the Air Force ..... More nick names in a fighter squadron than in any Prep School..... Later opened a bar mentioned In the Official Preppy Handbook ........ Instructed the managers: Don't hire as a bartender, anyone not kicked out of at least two good prep schools..... I was only kicked out of one... Now, age 82, have accumulated thirteen, mostly shiney, blazers, some with proud old Yacht Club patches,...I still like dry Gin Martinis and drive a 577 HP M-B ......And, lastly,........ Muffy, you do a good thing........Cordially, "Snake"................ (You can't pick your own nickname) .... Unfortunately for me...

    ReplyDelete
  59. I can still tie a four in hand knot or a bow tie, half asleep on my way to 10am Sunday service at my Episcopal Church! My wife and kids are in amazement at my most peculiar skill set! My beloved Rector is as well...

    Somethings remain the same.

    ReplyDelete
  60. I still can, and sometimes will, wear a blazer and tie, in very hot weather, in a church without air-conditioning. I still know the words of most of the old standby hymns of the Episcopal Church. I still speak French. And I still know how to box.

    ReplyDelete

Comments are moderated.