A reader question:
Dear Editor,
In the past you’ve curated lists of towns that embody the “The Thing Before Preppy” ethos. As an exercise in contradistinction, I’d be interested to hear the community’s thoughts on towns or cities that are opposite from that ethos. I’d start with: Los Angeles, Dallas, and Miami…
Thanks!
As a long time reader, and one who enjoys Muffy sharing life in Salt Water New England, I always cringe when others are insistent that the thing before Preppy, and what we are saying, is WASPy characteristics, can only be found and defined in New England. The question poser referenced Los Angeles as a place that is antithetical to what can be found in New England. However, the thing before preppy can be found in San Marino and Pasadena, technically separate from Los Angeles. They have strong sense of community, historic preservation and garden clubs, old school private clubs for tennis, golf, etc., top notch private day schools, debutante balls and cotillion. People still go to church and hold progressive political views. But when I visit, I'm most struck with how everyone knows and interacts with their neighbors. I'm sharing this just as a caution to avoid thinking that the ethos and behavior we celebrate and share via Muffy's blog are only found in one of the country's regions.
ReplyDeleteExcellent comment!
DeleteI do not wish to initiate a political conversation on a website usually delightfully free of them (thanks to self policing, one assumes),, but “progressive political views” are not core to the Thing Before Preppy and of somewhat recent vintage even in New England (see Adams, Coolidge, Kennedy or Lodge, Vermont voted for Reagan twice…). In fact the casual inclusion runs counter to the ex-New England point you are making. TBP/preppy friends in the South are indeed certifiable preps who might like a word.
DeleteAmen. That person was speaking for themselves. Progressive politics and the ethos of people like me an our crowd was quite the opposite.
DeletePalm Beach
ReplyDeleteYes, indeed. And having lived there, it's not just for why one would think so.
DeleteOh do tell
DeleteThere are clusters of people in both LA and Dallas that most people would consider to be preppy. I'm less familiar with Miami.
ReplyDeleteIt's probably risky business to render blanket opinions on this topic about many decent-sized metro areas from the outside looking in.
I live in South Florida and I've spent a lot of time in Miami. Genuine preppies are few and far between but they do exist here. More commonly, we have people who dress the part but they haven't really internalized the ethos.
DeleteLas Vegas
ReplyDeleteHighland Park and University Park are two cities completely surrounded by Dallas and are famously preppy. There are also old money enclaves in Houston, Fort Worth, San Antonio, and Austin. Head for Midland-Odessa, Lubbock, Tyler and other medium-size Texas cities to find the opposites. The search won't be difficult.
ReplyDeleteIs philanthropy part of the preppy ethos? If so much of New England would not qualify as preppy. New Englanders are notorious skin flints. IRS data will verify this.
ReplyDeleteYou're implying that one needs to be wealthy enough to be philanthropic to be the thing before preppy. I don't know if that's an accurate or perhaps useful definition.
DeleteMoreover, there are different kinds of philanthropy. The new rich like to make splashy contributions to gain attention, while old wealth often donates quietly, sometimes even anonymously.
Is Preppy/Ivy/Trad associated with high-income people? Sure. But a lot of them are striving professionals with kids to raise and mortgages to pay. They might be very comfortable, but they don't necessarily have the liquidity to become philanthropists. They might in time.
Anyone can be a philanthropist. Wealth is not a prerequisit. It is among the poorest one often finds the most generous.
ReplyDeleteIsn’t that the truth. “Churches are built with the words of the rich and the pennies of the poor.”
DeleteA beautiful reality and very true comment
DeleteClass will out!
ReplyDelete… " noblesse oblige. "
DeleteWaimanalo, Hawaii
ReplyDeleteAnon 5/15 5:31 is right. Looked it up. New England, home of all those preppy enclaves, does not have even one state that is in the top half of USA states for charitable deductions. Mass is #26, Conn 31, NH 43, VT 44, ME 49 and dead last is little Rhody 50. Call New Englanders what you want. Just don’t call them philanthropic.
ReplyDeleteCharitable deductions are a limited way to measure giving. Maine ranks high among the states as it relates to activity and volunteer hours. From food drives to helping rebuild after a fire, Mainers show their commitment to one another every day. Mainers donate a smaller percentage of (sadly low) income levels, but contribute in other ways. With the fourth-highest volunteer rate and the fifth-most charities per capita of all all states, actions can speak as loud as dollars.
DeleteI understand the pushback against broadly labeling an entire city of 8m people one way or another, but taking Dallas for instance: this is a city that is definitively not like the "Thing Before Preppy". Just because a few small neighborhoods (Highland Park) might have some of the qualities, the vast majority of the region is concrete sprawl with cookie cutter neighborhoods packed with gaudy mcmansions and devoid of reticence, rootedness, conservation, civic pride, etc.
ReplyDeleteCompared to Boston for example: yes, much of Boston has also lost the ethos, but there are entire regions that continue to bear it, like the North Shore, many western suburbs, and select South Shore towns.
Bostonians have much of which to be proud. Sometimes it gets, however, a bit much. We are blessed the new pope did not go to Boston College. Imagine, the first American pope is from BC? You would never hear the end of it.
ReplyDeleteThe question seems irrelevant. There are so few people left from that group that we call the thing before prep. They (we)are scattered here and there. And yes, most of them are from the north east of the US. In my case, I live here in Virginia horse country, the land of money and crassness. It seems to me that this is why some of us follow this blog. You two are scattered across the country. Reminds us of the distant past.
ReplyDeleteBorn, raised, and live in Miami. This city is NOT preppy.
ReplyDelete25 comments, and nobody has named New York yet? What is coastal Connecticut or Cape Cod if not NOT New York?
ReplyDeleteOf course, these sorts of oppositional definitions are usually the product of uncomfortable similarities that at least one side would rather not exist.
It depends on where you are on coastal Connecticut. The towns in Fairfield County, west of the mouth of the Housatonic River, are very, very New York-ish. Travelling east of the river it is a different story. This is especially true further east in the towns between New Haven and Old Saybrook. Of course there are New Yorkers in towns like Guilford and Madison. But the dominant “vibe” and culture is local. Look at the cuisine. You will not find New Haven style ahbeets in Fairfield County, on the coast, or anywhere really. But you can feast on that region defining delicious offering (and even delicate dish depending upon the type of pie. You will understand if you happen upon a pie topped with very thin sliced breaded eggplant, and grated pecorino or Piave, not overloaded New York style with mozzarella) even in beautiful and charming, tiny towns east of New Haven, along what locals call “The Shoreline,” like Deep River. There New Yorkers are very few and far between.
DeleteI have lived in a large number of cities on the right and left coasts as well as in Texas. They have all had their preppy enclaves, but virtually none of the large cities broadly reflect an Ivy or prep ethos, not even Boston or DC. It has been preserved in a number of smaller places, especially towns with sailing cultures. Some of my old haunts like Annapolis, Newport, and Manhasset still have a bit of it. Even West U still has a bit of it, despite being an island in the middle of Houston. Ironically, most prep schools are necktie and loafer free zones.
ReplyDelete